What I Look for in YA Friendships \\ do they even exist??

I like friends.

Not the show – I’ve never seen it – I mean two people loving each other platonically and being supportive. It’s one of my essentials to a perfect story!

I was thinking about this the other day and I realized I don’t have any YA friendships to gush about. The only thing close is the Argo II crew from Heroes of Olympus (which is an excellent series but technically middle-grade).

And what irritates me the most is the fact that I haven’t come across any friendships in YA fantasy books!ย A lot of fantasy – and even contemporary – books have “friendships” and not friendships. What’s the difference? You ask.


Well, allow me to tell you my basic rules for fictional friendships:


YA Friendship Essentials

Image result for friendship gifs

1) Inside jokes that no one else understands

All friends have inside jokes. I mean, all close people have inside jokes. This isn’t necessary (I suppose…) but it always makes me smile.

It’s also an excellent way to show the reader that two people are close instead of just telling them.


2) Support (from both sides!)

Obviously, good friends are supportive. Do I even need to go over this?

Good friends are there for each other – on both sides.

For example, Friend A is having trouble. Friend B should be 100% willing to drop everything and come help.

BUT Friend A should know to not ask Friend B to drop everything important and come help unless this is a genuine EMERGENCY.

See what I mean? Support comes from both sides. No selfishness here!


3) Prioritizing

This one is more specific to long friendships. My closest friends and I have been together for almost eight years now, and there is no way in HELL I would EVER let anything come between us, and I know the feeling is mutual.

Which is why I always hate when I read about “friends” who have been together forever…but will toss each other aside when someone cute walks by.

Beyond the fact that they’re a bad friend, I just don’t understand it. There are no friends in my life who would do that and so when I read about “friends” like that it makes me roll my eyes SO HARD.



4) Friends Don’t Lie

What is the point of friends…close friends to confide in…if…you lie to them??

Babe, if you don’t feel comfortable telling your friends about what you’re doing it means YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING IT.

This goes back to the prioritizing thing. Sometimes you don’t tell your family everything you’re doing, which is fine, but in my experience friends know close to everything, if not everything, about you.

FRIENDS DON’T LIE (Stranger Things references…)


What do you like to see in friendships? Do you have any favorite bookish friendships? Who’s your closest online friend?

Comments are below!


9 thoughts on “What I Look for in YA Friendships \\ do they even exist??

  1. You changed the look of your blog o.O it looks good!! I completely agree! And yeah, fantasy is seriously lacking in good friendships. I feel like fantasy is all about people at each other’s throats so there aren’t any “true” friends which I find annoying tbh haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you like it! You do see more friends in contemporary books, and I KIND OF understand – a lot of fantasy worlds do have people against people, but after a while it starts to get boring. Plus friends could add so much to the MC’s character arc!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The first book that I could think of with great friendships is Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda. It had some really great friendships in there! But the movie changed one from completely platonic to unrequited love and that bugged me a lot!!! You are right about not a lot of fantasy books having great friendships :/ now I want to go find one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s true! Becky Albertalli has some great friendships. The irritated me in the movie too, but they were still there for each in the beginning and the end, which I liked.

      I’ll let you know if I find any! Hopefully soon ๐Ÿคž

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love when books have a portrayal of genuinely great friendships, and I love the friendships in all of Melina Marchetta’s books, because they’re so nuanced and amazingly written. It’s really sad to see how often romantic relationships get prioritized over friendships in books as well.

    Lovely post, Marrill! โค

    PS. Friends (the TV show) is so good!!

    Liked by 1 person

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